Delicate Belief

live by the heart of wandering dream, to find the solace
the identity, waiting in the light for what it seems to be
the places of truth and being, that always drift on beyond
the corners of our thought, the candle lit fortunes
of the brazen and bold, color the waters of heartache
with a stale and oily sight, all by what is bright and lucid
in the world of dream, the glory to the god unknown
a presence to the world, to the fires, to the soul
control the destinies of our hearts, as we seek purer lands
i am beholden to the mystery, to the uncertainty of times
when locked in a prison, i am, confined by my own design
herald to the world i call, to bring me out of such wandering
to the dream of light and color, to the body of pearls and cream
a scene of flightful fancy, of delicate belief, all toward the heart
waiting inside of me

Dare

dare to desire in the dream of the heart, when the heart is warm, the body cool, and all to the touch remains electric and still, moving through the pulses of the wills of each entwined, enveloped inside, by the sight, in passion's gaze, infinite colors, collapse and arise, raising the dream, mesmerized in the scene of two hearts, running, dancing through the waking dream, eyes to the sunrise burning outside, eclipsed by the halos of all that is seen, by light and in the thrill of darkness, abide by the sound of a union unfolding, in the hands, by the heart, where desire soothes, and weights bears down, on the wisdom and the truth, of desire's divinity, joined by two, unfurl, in the senses of scenes born anew

Oh My Heart

I have lived a life of love and at 72, I still consider myself to be a hero who walks the ghost through the seven heavens of my heart. Though, often I find myself playing dead to this thought, hiding in the shapes and shadows, lost in all the sheets and old pillows of my youth. Tonight. Tonight is no different, for oh my heart, it sings and it cries. Speaking truths in the lullabies of laughter and sorrow. Slowly. In the moment before sleep, my eyes flash here and there. And around my room I spy rabbit holes. The veracious spirits of porcupines, dancing like Fred Astaire across the ceilings and walls as the lights outside grow and fade through my curtains tonight. I waltz along to the rhythm. Fading and shining in all the happiness and despair. The winds of change. The stagnation that still grows there in the darkest places of my heart. Surrounding me are the memories. The skulduggery that I often wonder what it is for, the lies and deceit that lays beside me in this bed of dreams. I gallantly pretend I ride a stolen horse. Onward, I gallop. A strong knight in the strongest night of dream. In the chain mail that glows and gleams. Racing around. In the shapes I describe as forests. In the shadows I see as monsters. I ride and I ride. A prophet. A warrior, who never waits that long to know where I am going to run to next. Onward I ride. Defeating the enemies. The monsters. The beasts. So called heroes of this magic land. Seeking fortunes. Seeking my pride. Though I still need a friend. A squire. A companion. In the loneliness, my identity is abandoned, and so I search the land for another to call my own. Calling out for Van Gogh’s dog to be my friend again. The animals and kin of men’s kindness, I crash into medieval thoughts that strip my mind bear. Cause a crescendo to swirl me up. To well up my body. To twist my shape. To bend my reason as my soul stutters, fall down, on to the ground before this dream. A hero lost. Gone too far. Lost in dream. Imagining himself too much to see, the truth before all in me, the very assassin that would strike me down.

Somehow I have lost a friend here. Lost a lover, who has moved on. To be another love. Of someone else far, far away. No one can see how much suffering is on my face. The face that always smiles when strangers pass on by. I wonder if someone has it in for me. Amid these tree-like shapes that stretch across as shadows and light in my dreams tonight.

I move on. Move downstairs. Out of the room of this forest. Out of the chain mail that held me in imagination for far too long. Too far gone. In these moments, I force myself to tell her so, so that she might know what I am here for after-all. In this call of dream and night. The shadows wander. Drift and find so many colors that have been lost in the ages of my mind. In a way, I am an undertaker to all the lies that I defeat myself with. The honest Joe I allow myself to be, no longer means that much to me, as I stand, stand, stand here before the mirror of my time. As if I knew the truth. What is means to find meaning, in the shinning of reason and season. A clarify I so often wish I could see before my very eyes. In the dusty motes of twilight. Behold. A reflection. A deception. A benediction to a tomorrow in me where I will once again shine in the knowledge that you’ve changed your mind again. Stayed with me. Lived with me. Loved me in the kind of life only a dreamer can ever truly dream.

Through these rhythmic dreams. Through this magic world. I find. I find. It’s so hot in here. Engulfed in the thoughts I have of you. I swing from high to deep. The pressure’s on. It builds. Building a dream to the thoughts and scenes of a day when we were together. The world spins. It shines. I want it to last forever, as if forever was simply a moment in my mind. Around me I sense a change. A change of color. A kaleidoscope of fury. Of beauty. Of emptiness. As suddenly it is 10 below. I know that I sound crazy. That I am crazy. I am lazy. That I am in between the morning, the dream, of nights that have come before, the morning after you were gone. I run toward the water. The waterfalls splashing around blue pastures. A lake. Oceans new inside these memories spent in a golden youth. I ask you to be my prayer. To forgive me for my honest pleasures. The pleasures I long to see, when all good boys have come home again. To a mother who is gold and true.

I make for the city. To a promised land. Promising not to look behind, only to search for truth onward. Forward. To the blue pastures combining to form the watering hole that nourishes my mind. A place where I might cleanse these thoughts. I run around when I hear my destiny calling. From behind the corners, these blind alleys I keep leading myself through.

Boom. Boom. The sound of my heart racing. I am born in frustration as I read all my letters, the words I have written in an attempt to ring the bells, to wake me from my death. With the best intentions, I’ve only alerted the five-o to this lullaby I sing for you now. I dream up a tomorrow where we can skin dive at the center of what drives us together. Say something, say something to me. Lead me through this dream. The thrumming. The strumming. The building of fires. The stirring of lies. Of lives. Of love. Lost somewhere out in the night. I hear you calling to me. To the Arabic agony that pieces these walls. Of my dream tonight. The boom. Boom, boom of my heart. The sounds. The semaphores. In these moments I ask. I plead. For you to sing to me to sleep with all the songs have gone before, that only you and I do know. In this place where, only the two of us remain here alone.

Out in this space. I am alone. I play dead to the thought. Make myself seem smaller than I am. I am not so strong. Waltzing along, this Alaskan Pipeline. A wilderness of cold. Of silence. The wisdom of my throat does not speak to me. It has abandoned me. I do not hear a sound. I stare at myself here. At the reflection of the waters. The frozen rivers. The icy seas. I see myself distorted. Reborn. I am an English beefcake. A comic. A fool. A lover, who uses love as a weapon. Who shatters hope, in the only place where hope could survive. I am getting away with it. I spread my love, to the senoritas, the Marias, the Mariannes, that have long since gone. So long. So long. There is no upside to this. I only move down. Down. For it is my heart that I miss. I am withdrawn. I am burned. I strip myself down, to the shirt of my birth. I am not ready for the uprising that builds inside. I must keep pushing on, for there are so many ways for me to move on from here. To seek guidance in another day. To find another way. To make all that I have done, go away, so that I might see you once again.

To greet you. To meet you for the first time. Who are you? To discover you again. I would be on top of the world. Lifted up by the bubbles that foam and froth. In the beauty of delight. A summer’s song with no end in sight. I am pleased to meet you here. Please to find you anew. Lost in the dreams, in the days, where I turn the pages, on the days of our youth.

As the days pass. As the years float on by. Sometimes, I too, want to fill up with stories of monsters, of heroes, of men. Find simplicity in the stories of the ages. The stories of old. The stories that drift, grow strong, but never become bold enough to wash away all my troubles. To wash away all the years. To make me forget. To make me find you again. Searching endless. Onward. Hanging on to memories. Hanging on to you. No more. For now, I find, I just wanting to go on home. To sit down. Have some coffee and some toast. Sitting in the chair. By the table. Waiting for you to come home at last. To see your smile. To hear your laugh. And for you, to lose control, with me again. In the ghosts of our past. In the ghosts of our youth. Let me be your next lover. Let me be your song. Oh my heart yearns for you, as I move on through the years, continually searching for our truth.

Devil Inside

when the wilder walks in the forests of green
the transient color to the sights i've seen
in truth, the devil beware
to the shadows that mix with the light in the air
in these sights, in these sounds
i seek my fortunes, in the world outside these beliefs
and as i walk, in the chaos of these dreams
the wildest moments in me, wakes to the unrest, which gleams
by the chorus of song
sounds, seeking a place, amid the trees, where my soul belongs
i raise my head up on high
to grow, to know, to flow
in the rhyme eternal, the hum on the horizon still
for a moment, all connects and shines
then in a flicker, seems to burn right out
to fade, as the day reaches its end
i move through these thoughts, this dream of our days
in a moment, long past today, as tomorrow is the glory of unknowns
that my mind yearns to know, and so i continue to float
to glide, high up on high in the tree tops of my mind
on this very night, as light is turned away
and i, seeking such fortune, as fortune is to be found
in the wildest of colors, that swim in the air all around
as i let go, feel the flow, I close my eyes, and I do know
that i will see tomorrow yet in me
before the day has gone from the world i see
for in this life, is in this flight
i shall be found, in the shadow's arm that are outstretched
on the ground below, in the wildest forests, scattered in dream
all comes together, in the devilish thoughts in me

In Waters Loss

Down by the water fell
the dreams of fear
the dreams of loss
i lose myself in dreams like this
the nightmares, the sweats
in childhood's breast
engulfed in a moment that swirls and swells
swimming around, In the water drown
Down, down, down you go
deep inside the waves, in the water's well
shedding, in the tears of losing my brother
my finger slip on the water's lip
drip drip, the sounds do pound
in my head, as the waters surround
i watch on, as the weight of death is pulling you down
down to the bottomless bed to sleep and sleep
on and on, down by the waters grip
as dreams do drift into another day
when this memory is washed away
by the colors, the stains, of the blood
from my finger tips, rip
searching, to find reason, where no reason is found
in the death by the waters edge
the knife that cuts, and slips from the ledge
high on the counter top, cutting
cutting, slicing you down the middle
the center, while the waters run, the blood is done
drained from your body, the waters remember
the color of today, as the truth of the dream
is swept away, in the tides and the highs
of another day gone by
all does remain here still, in these dreams
by the dam in the picnic of my screams
that silence always tortures, in the quiet of our dreams
though the sounds still haunts me now
even as i turn the page of another year
still now, i see myself, as i was then, lost in the waters of a dream
the loss of my brother, from the world wanting to be
i know, somewhere, my brother still is missing
when once, he lived deep inside of me

Ageless Season

seeking the heart by the edge of reason
as my thoughts drift in and out
slowly through scenes, of the romance with the ages
in the time at time in hand
by a walk, by a dance in the dark
a smile, a laugh, beneath the dream
where everything took place
in an instant, today, now all is replaced by the day anew
though my heart still wanders, as if the emotions still bloomed
and as the reflection of a day long past yesterday
stares back at me, here, by the water's edge in me
i take such grace from the memory
that for now, is full, pregnant with the idea
with the love i felt for you, when all others knew
little of the truth that seems to stretch out
reach, touch, only us

it is the time of time again, where lovers respond
to the world, to the world's fascination
a call in tune, by the time of a moment which still fills
me with the spring of life, all by lover's end
in the mingling strife that knows to send
each lover off in different directions
to no longer know, the romance, in the ages
as we danced on forever, in this moment
where fingers clasped, where bodies entwined
all by the time where time was at hand
to give us these thoughts, to grant us passage
to deeper stations, shadows and shapes
by a lovers' grace, i know all she was
all that i longed to be, in this ageless season
that still can be found, deep inside of me

Waters Dry

from the march of the ocean, through the dance of the day
the waters are enshrined, in all the words that i say
my heart is humble, my heart full and wide
through every moment i speak, through each and every divide
in this place, i do see, the divine tide of harmony and bliss
which seeks to remove all i find, in this moment of our time
all thought and memory, the weight of pain
the failed doubt that always comes back again
when all shadows seem lost, when each moment seems blue
wrapped inside the heartache, of yesterday's youth
i cannot see, by the waters that run on edge
to the shores of morning, to the coast of another day
when happiness was a beauty, and the thoughts of you
were far, far away, but as the waters run, the colors collide
breathe deep, relax, and release a moment, as ever was a sigh
in a sound, that through the wind, carries on with me
through the cities and streets, where once i knew your name
a confluence of magic and despair, in these waters
where no one ever dares, to call out your name
or to sing the words of love ever, to you once again
it is this place where the oceans march on
the tides that side with truth, the waters that run in the youth
of days and days on end, in the hours as waves
rolling on by, past tomorrow, to a place where even truth does, run dry

One More Moment

the divinity of beauty comes to me
the warning of truce, bellies the heart
to seek meaning, from meaning not gathered in reason or experience
i wander though these walls
through the heartache and lament
from the knowing that is spent
wondering just where it is all meant to be
from a truth that i cannot see
for my heart simply wants to ride
this pulse as a dance, only to see myself neglect
the obvious identity that is written here
right before me, there is no subtle way to say
what grace from your eyes traces around all that is found
when the light races from the skies tonight
the soft moonlight glows in your smile
and all the guile, the walls built therein
simply melt away, in the thought of a day
spent with you, and as i fall back
into the trance of the heart
beating the rhymes, which now
allow me to ride the dreams all through the world
in this world, now, which seems to be, just a thought outside
the world in me, has now come alive, in my mind
my dreams, in this moment with you tonight
for the truth, in this dance of soul
i take what is given to me, the calm of peace
the warmth of the moment, though there is still a certainty
therein, which pushes the distance, back, in front of me
and though my heart does not want to see
i must force my eyes upon
as the sight in my own heart longs to remain
right here with you tonight, i must live the dreams
and taste the moment as i can, yet, when the moment brings
me back to the truth, full and bright
in my eyes tonight, i must look on
past your gaze, in my dreams tonight
seeking the wisdom no more, for all that is seen
is still left unsaid, in my heart
my world, that i lived with you, for just one night

Just This Way

to me, the world is enveloped in shades of green
the color of a morning new
wrapped in the truth i see, by the color found in you
and as i awaken, the shades i see are set in the spring of youth
a youth, a place, where my soul does wander
in the wonder, of all life's golden dream
the memory does glimmer, by all that does seem
to be revealed, in the shimmering meaning
of color and form, before my eyes, the smile
the warm laughter, of your eyes, does see in me
the beauty before the world, all is a reflection
a moment, that does surround, in the waters
of oceans green, a color that cleanses in waves of blue
to all the thoughts that hold the truth, to me, the world is
but a moment in these dreams, i have
and such in you, is your smile, the pleasant laughter
of a day come to a close, with your arms snug around me
your heart, next to me now, as we drift on, outward
by the gaze still turned inward, wrapped in one another's embrace
in the space and time of our heart's one true dream
all does seem, just as our eyes do see, to be
as the shades of green in spring's grace today
by the warmth of truth, and in a love, that always will remain
in our hearts just this way

Before Your Eyes

follow your heart to your dream
in the moment when the truth always does mean
exactly what is seen, right here, before your eyes

A Last Goodbye

There is always a sigh
i don't want to see him
i don't want to see him
There is always a sigh when ever she sees me
She sees me, then, a breath, to take in the moment
to gather strength, to wait, then say to "hi"
i don't want to see him
i don't want to see him
to say hello, to be pleasant, to say the words
to say the words
don't let him see me
don't let him see me
the years spent together
now resigned to moments like this
i don't want to see him
i don't want to see him
in this moment, now, i know she knows
she has to see me
i can feel her take a breath in, a sigh
open up, gather strength, bunker down
i don't want to
i don't want to
a breath, a sigh, the moment strained on these words inside
i want to see her
i want to see her
her sweet face, her sweet eyes
i don't want to see him
i don't want to see him
she is there, i see her, but she doesn't see me
i can turn away, save her the moment
save her the breath
i don't want to see him
i don't want to see him
i can turn away, leave, let her pass on by
her sweet face caught in my dream
her sweet breath lost in the scene
i don't want to pass her by
i don't want to pass her by
but i do, so the world can release
and hold its breath, to wait, for another time
to say one last, goodbye